October 5, 2017

Know WHY You Know

By Barry Rudesill

Recently, I picked up a book on how to present arguments for your position with grace and dignity. As I was reading, I found something that I thought was remarkable: “… [K]nowing WHY you believe as well as WHAT you believe will make you more confident...” (emphasis original)

And, for us at The Trek, the WHY is as important as the WHAT!

Confused yet? Let me explain it with a true story:

I was talking to a young man who was going through some tough times. He looked at me and said, “Why do you spend time with me? You probably have better things to do!”

I grinned at him. “Nope! Right now, you are the “better thing”! I know you have worth; I know you have value; so, spending time with you is a reward; not a task.”

“How do you know I have value?” he challenged.

“Because you are someone who cares about your friends; I’ve seen the way you stand up for them. You have a brilliant sense of humor and great timing on your comments; they always make me laugh. Your view of the world is unique; and I always learn new things hanging out with you.” I then went on for a few more minutes, with him becoming more and more embarrassed. “That’s why I KNOW you’re worth my time!”

Every time we meet someone new, that’s our goal: to find out what makes them unique. What are the quirky things they do, the hidden talents, the skills and abilities they may not even admit they have. And do you know what? We’ve discovered something really neat: EVERYONE has something that makes them worth our time! And, no matter how awkward it may make them feel, we really do enjoy pointing out those things to the people around us. Our goal is that the next time they say, “I have value!”, they can follow it up by saying, “Because of the way I treat my friends! I have value because of my sense of humor!”

This week, on your journey, don’t just say your positive self-talk statements. Tell yourself WHY you know they’re true. Find an example, one time in your life, when that statement was true and use it to strengthen your statements. “I can talk to people because I spoke up in my group.” “I have talents because I wrote that poem.” The Bridge said to let you know you can use, “I am lovable because God loves me!”

Once you know WHY you believe the statements you are saying, the positive statements get easier to believe. It’s a cycle, with each statement reinforcing the other!

In closing, I would also like to encourage you to use your words a little differently. The next time you tell someone, “I love you!”, tell them why. The next time you say, “You’re amazing!”, tell them why. Help them to know WHY you know these things! Your words can be used to build them up and give them a solid base to grow from.

We hope you enjoy your journey!

About The Trek

The Trek is an online personal development curriculum that is for anyone and everyone. If you are seeking a path to greater understanding, stronger relationships, and better interpersonal skills, join us on this life-changing journey. Your life will never be the same again.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
How It Works


"I learned SO much about myself and stuff I NEED to work on and stuff that I'm doing good and should continue to do. I'm so thankful for this opportunity to come here and have this experience." Trystin, Sr. High Student

"Now that The Trek is over, my journey begins to use the tools I've been taught to go through the rest of my life being a better and more content person. I'm excited to see what lies ahead for me." Carol, Adult

Get in Touch