January 22, 2020
New Year's Resolutions - Belief
By Barry Rudesill
Okay, so wrapping up this series, I want to take one last look at New Year’s Resolutions. We’ve talked about how a lot of people make them...and then break them. We’ve talked about how Information simply “is” and can’t change anyone. We’ve talked about how if we do the work to learn more, we gain Knowledge which can – and often does – produce short-term change.
But what do we need to do to make the changes stick?
Simply put, we need Belief. We need to not just KNOW it’s important to change; we need to BELIEVE it’s important to change. To help you put this into perspective, let me use an example we talked about on the first post: spending more time with family and friends. This is a really good New Year’s Resolution, right?
I was reading a study commissioned by Visit Anaheim – it’s a tourism company, so take this with a grain of salt – which says that the average American family spends just 37 minutes of “quality time” together each weekday (usually just over dinner) and only 160 minutes each weekend day! Also, most parents say they only get at most 12 “date nights” per year! And we wonder why families are breaking down?
To put that into perspective, that means that if you’re “average”, you are spending 505 minutes of “quality time” with your family each week out of a possible 10,080 minutes total! And that’s just if you’re average! (For those of you who like statistics, that’s just over 5%.)
Now, I’ve just given you Information about how little time most American families spend together. If you want it to become Knowledge, take a look at your week. How much time do you spend on work? On commuting? On television? And how much time do you spend with your family. (Meals count if you eat them together, but not if they’re eaten in front of a television.) Take a look at your numbers, do they show that your family is important to you?
If you BELIEVE that your children matter, that your spouse matters, then take a look at where you spend time. Are there areas that you can change? Now obviously we need to work, but are you taking work home with you that could stay at the office? We need to take care of the house, but can your family join in and talk while doing it? It’s okay to “veg”, but can you watch a movie together rather than different screens in different rooms? One step, one small change, will start you on the path!
Maybe you simply say that every Sunday night is “off limits”; that you, as a family, will sit down together and eat dinner and nobody is allowed to miss it. Oh, and by the way, cooking together not only teaches children an important skill – spoken by someone who lived off of Ramen noodles while in college – but also turns a “chore” into “quality time”.
Maybe you make walking the dog a family event. I’ve had some of the best discussions with my daughter while walking together. It was a “chore” that we had to do anyhow; but it will always be one of my favorite times spent with her.
Look for the opportunities! We’re not talking about taking an expensive vacation together; we’re talking about finding time – making time – for the people we say are important. We’re talking about changing the way we do things to make room, create opportunities, for building relationships with those we say we care about.
And EVERY step we take, no matter how small, helps us to build our BELIEFS! And Belief changes what we do...permanently.
You can take this Information, file it away, and see no change. You can look at your week and where you spend your time, develop Knowledge, and start on the path to change. Or, you can become intentional, Believe that your family matters, and look for opportunities to spend time with them. As always, the choice is up to you.
We hope you enjoy your journey!