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February 16, 2022

What's Your "Why?"

By Barry Rudesill

In talking Trek with someone recently, I asked them why they felt it was important for them to change. They ran through a number of different reasons; all of which were very positive. But as we talked through some of their goals, I realized something: none of them were strong enough to support true change. Let me explain what I mean.

I think the number one reason people give us for taking The Trek is because they “want to be healthy”. If you think about it, that IS a really good reason! At the same time, there are some problems with that statement. How do you define what healthy is? How do you know when you get there? Do you just get to stop when you decide you’re healthy?

All-in-all, “healthy” is too vague of a concept to build off of! When I run into something that challenges me, that forces me to deal with parts of my life that I’ve walled off, my reason of “wanting to be healthy” just won’t support me; it won’t give me the strength I need to take the next step forward.

In my own life, I know what my first “Why” was. I was standing on a corner in Madison, Wisconsin, and my world was falling apart. I had never dealt with my pain, my past, or my choices. As I watched a bus coming, I though about how easy to step in front of it and end it all.

As the debate raged inside of me, I had a thought: I will NOT let my abusers win!

It wasn’t a happy thought, but it WAS bedrock! When that thought struck me, I knew that suicide simply meant the people who had destroyed my life would also be the ones who took it! And I resolved at that time and in that place that I would get healthy to spite them!

From the next few years, when I encountered challenges, when I was depressed, or when I felt overwhelmed, I reached for that thought: I will NOT let my abusers win! At times it seemed impossible, but then that thought would come back and I would look around me, examine my options, and take the next step forward!

Over time, that thought changed into healthier patterns. I began to find new “Why’s”; healthier ones which enabled me to dig in and keep moving forward. Even today, my “Why” is something that I examine on a regular basis. Since it’s my motivation to keep improving, I want to make sure it stays something that I can stand on!

When I looked at the person who was asking me about Trek, I told them to go home and to think about their “Why”. I told them that it had to be bedrock; something that wouldn’t shift when times got tough. I wanted them to find something specific, something measurable, or something meaningful. (Preferably all of the above!) And then I asked them to decide if it was strong enough to stand up to the challenges that lay ahead. A week later, they had a “Why”!

So, what about you? Do you have a “Why”? Is there something, deep down inside, that is strong enough to keep you from falling, to give you the strength to rise up, and to face the challenges in front of you? (When in doubt, do you have a “battle cry” that motivates you to continue on your journey?)

If you haven’t, let me share some other “Whys” that people have shared with me over the years: “My children!” “My family!” “I want to get past the pain!” “I am worth it!” “My past won’t win!”

There have been others shared with me that were...less healthy, but they were still a “Why”. And, as time passed and the person who had it became healthier, they changed their “Why” to match their new mindset.

Today, if you’re thinking that you “should” change, we applaud you for that! But the question we want you to think about is simply this: “Why do you want to change?” Once you can answer that question, you will find strength for the journey!

From all of us at The Trek, we hope you enjoy your journey!

- The Trek

February 16, 2022

What's Your "Why?"

By Barry Rudesill

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