March 4, 2023

Incremental Choices

By Barry Rudesill
Okay, so I have a question for you: If you knew that your next decision was going to completely blow up every aspect of your life – hurt your friends, your family, how those in your church/community/school will perceive you, and more – show of hands, how many of you would make that choice?
 
All right, I was just kidding about showing hands, since I can’t see them…
 
Most of us wouldn’t make that choice, right? If we KNEW that what we were about to do would cause that much destruction, we would avoid it like the plague!
 
Then why do people make choices like that? Why do politicians get caught in big lies? Why do pastors have affairs? Why do people shoot up schools? Why does anyone make any of the big mistakes that they eventually fall for? Well, it all comes down to a choice!
 
Actually, that’s not true. It actually comes down to a SERIES of choices. Let me explain that concept in one important phrase:
 
Almost all big choices come from a combination of little choices that led up to it.”
 
Did you catch that? Let me explain what I mean:
 
I’ve known men who’ve had affairs. Do you suppose they woke up one morning and said, “Gee! I think I’ll cheat on my wife today! To heck with the kids, the family, or those who look up to me! I’m making that choice!”
 
No, the way it begins is they see other relationships portrayed on television and in movies and they make the choice to compare that fantasy to reality. Then, maybe they make the choice to view pornography. The next choice may be to start looking around them and wondering if someone else would be a better match. Then they choose to start developing a “friendship” with that other person. Finally, they choose to cross the line, and an affair begins.
 
As the choices start out, they may seem fairly harmless: a little “comparison shopping”; a little fantasy. Also, at each step along the way, the person making the choices can usually rationalize why they’re doing it. “Well, I wonder if there is someone who is a better match.” “Pornography isn’t bad because I’m not actually having an affair.” Finally, each step helps the person to meet a “perceived need”. (Remember, there can be a vast difference between our perceptions and reality!)
 
When the affair takes place, people are shocked! Dismayed! Caught off guard! But in reality, that was only the final choice in a long string of choices that led to that final one. “Almost all big choices come from a combination of little choices that led up to it.”
 
So, what about you? Are there choices that you’re making that are taking you away from becoming – or remaining – the person you want to be? Do you find yourself having to rationalize, justify, or explain away what you’re doing?
 
If so, you may want to take a look at what choices you’ve made so far along this path and if they’re leading you to where you want to go.
 
If you’ve been through The Trek, maybe it’s time to break out your workbooks and revisit the “Choices” section. Are your choices going to work out for you in the next ten minutes? Ten days? Ten months? And ten years? Or, do you need to choose a different path?
 
Little choices lead to bigger choices. Bigger choices lead to life-changing ones. This week, take the time to make sure your life is going in the direction you want it to go. If not, remember: It’s never too late to choose differently!
 
We hope you enjoy your journey!
 
- The Trek

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