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November 17, 2022

Today, I’ve Decided To Pun-t!

By Barry Rudesill

Good morning! It’s already been a long morning for me, as I have a sick dog who, because of her medications, ended up wetting the bed last night. The bed I was sleeping in. And she likes to curl up right next to me. (I’ll let you draw the rest of the picture on your own.)

Because of that, I honestly feel the need to laugh a little bit. So, here’s some jokes to help you brighten your day:

A chicken wearing a kilt says to another chicken, “I’ve just finished researching my ancestry! It turns out that I’m from the McNugget clan!”

What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies!

How does a farmer count a herd of cows? With a cow-culator!

I named my termite “Clint”. Clint Eatswood.

Good King Wenceslaus went out to the pizza parlor and ordered a pizza. The assistant asked, "Do you want your usual? Deep, pan, crisp, and even?"

A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!" The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?" He says, "No! This is her husband!"

What do you call a pencil with erasers on both ends? Pointless.

What's another word for synonym?

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.

What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.

Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.

What is a flea’s favorite way to travel? Itch hiking.

If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed?

What do dentists call X-rays? Tooth pics.

What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? A sentence.

My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate. I told them, “Just you wait!”

I always tell new hires, “Don’t think of me as your boss! Think of me as a friend...who can fire you.”

Did you know that a day on the planet Mercury lasts 1407.5 hours? That’s like one Monday!

Not muting your mic is the new “Reply All”.

It seems I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, “Say thank you. Sit up straight. Use your napkin. Close your mouth when you chew. Don’t lean back in your chair.” Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along. —Erma Bombeck

To everyone, I hope you have a great day! If you have any jokes to share, please add them on our Facebook page.  My only rule is that they need to be clean and appropriate!

Now, it’s off to do laundry...

- The Trek

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